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Roller Coaster Beauty

My normal reaction to change Disneyland July 2012

I will be the first to admit: I am no good at transitions. I can barely get myself out the door each morning, to simply transition from the inside of my house to the front porch. (And then I procrastinate by watering the plants, to prolong the inevitable.) In many ways, I’m still a toddler when it comes to change. I hate it with a passion and will have adult sized tantrums when asked to shift gears, move on, let go. Ugh!

But running my own home staging & design business, as well as juggling single parenting of 2 boys means that transitions & new beginnings creep up on me ALL THE TIME. A constant roller coaster ride. And for the well-being of those around me, it is essential for me to find tools to manage my normal panicked reaction (see above photo for proof) to the ups and downs of being a small business owner and parent.

Recent changes, like birthing an entirely new business identity & forging a partnership that has been 4 years in the works would previously have left me glued to the couch for days, Nutella jar in one hand, bag of salami in the other, mindlessly marathon-ing through design show episodes on hulu.

So I have surprised myself these past weeks, with all of the recent changes going on, that I am still upright, definitely not in a puddle on the floor or stuck to the couch, and maybe even a little happy?

My trick today for the roller coaster ride, has been to come back to my breath and my experience of it, to feel and breathe. Feel the surge of anxiety building in my chest… and breathe. So simple, yet so challenging! Feel that panic attack mounting… and breathe. As I led my son’s elementary school in Yoga this morning with the same message: Feel your body & breathe, I looked out at the 100+ grade school kids and thought well maybe at the very least I’ve finally made it out of the sandbox. For now anyways.