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All I can say is TGIF! It has been a difficult week and mostly I’ve felt like I was back on my 2nd round of the Space Mountain roller coaster like this summer in Disneyland…

Sometimes that is just how life is. Even when we have the most amazing weather here in San Francisco, when our mini summer of warm sunny days lures the dolphins, summer dresses & everyone to the beaches, sometimes you still feel like crap.

Sometimes you’re just holding on for dear life, wondering when the awful ride will end already, and you may not look like a Space Mountain Beauty on the outside, as you smile and tell everyone you are fine, but the pain will keep calling you and asking for your attention. You will plead and pray, but what I’ve found is the more I push it away and beg for it to end, the louder its call becomes, until I just stop and Be Still and breathe into it’s darkness. Until I stop fighting the truth because it hurts so dang much!

Which I’m not the best at, so although I fought this roller coaster of emotion all week, telling myself unsuccessfully to “get back to work” and “get over it already!”, I finally gave in today, got off the ride and did some things my soul was craving. I scheduled myself a massage, went shopping, cuddled with my boys, went for a bike ride & cooked dinner with my sweetie, read a book, watched a movie & cried.

I can’t say that I’m completely done with the roller coaster, but I did learn to loosen my grip just a wee bit on the safety bar today, and to maybe be a little more gentle with myself when the ride seems out of my control, and painfully flipping my insides around, that there are spaces between where I can breathe (get a massage) and breathe (get a hug) and breathe (take a nap) again and again and again.